I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
