WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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