We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
