I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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