I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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