If i come over, it means nothing
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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