how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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