dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
