he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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