I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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