Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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