I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There r osticjed everywhere
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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