remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
