just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
