k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
