i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
