Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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