You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
