1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
MIDGETS
????
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
