Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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