finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm like, not good at living.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
