pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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