I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
