Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
