You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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