What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
