Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
