I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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