Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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