I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
