I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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