I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
