All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
