throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
