Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish i was in the wii world.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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