so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
