Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
