Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
