dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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