Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
