Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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