she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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