I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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