Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
