i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
