franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
