did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My bed smells like the plague
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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