i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
