it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
