Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
