i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
