it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize