are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
