I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
