WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
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