Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
