Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
