dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I believe in your delicious
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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