I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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